SO – I feel like as I am unfolding I am naturally finding my niche in the space of healing though sacred sexuality.
Stepping into the public arena with sharing I’ve been a little cautious around keeping my posts rather ‘contained’ …. You know – naturally testing the waters of how much of ME I desire to share with the world.
However, my writing of late has been cogged by the simply denial of the vein of energy that exists in me – which gives me my unique flavour in this space.
As an Aquarian with Lilith (the dark goddess in her 8th house) – there’s no surprise that I I’m into variety and darker frequency of sexual exploration.
WHAT TURNS ME ON?
The weaving of conscious heart connection with the underworld of taboo, sexuality and desire.
Tantra – Is how I live life. It’s my being. It’s how I connecting to my body, to others and source…It opens me to greater receptivity, feeling and expression in life and during sex.
Kink and BDSM – activates me sexually. There’s no denying that getting bound, spanked, blindfolded and watched (yes – acknowledging my inner exhibitionist) turns me on.
For me…. This unique and juicy tincture of spirituality and fun as fuck play provides a playground of erotic edges, that once explored, have rippled the greatest amount of freedom, permission and self acceptance into my life.
So how do I blend these worlds? Rather easily….
I BLACK LABEL TANTRA AND ADD CONSCIOUSNESS TO KINK.
There is lots more underpinning this – however here are my top 10 tips for creating the best containers for this erotically expansive exploration.
1) FULL BODY YES – for me this checking in with my 3 centers before any energetic or physical engagement. Acknowledging the 3 yes’s in my body – from my sex, my heart and my head… If I’m not getting a yes from all 3 of these – the play is a no go.
2) BOUNDARIES AND CONSENT – carve out the space to get clear on boundaries and consent to allow a unequivocally clear setting to drop into and explore in without having to ‘question’ oh is this OK?
3) LOVE – it’s the tantric intention behind every movement and the interaction as a whole. Whether that be a light caress or the deliverance of a more intense sensation. It’s unconditional, universal and non attached.
4) CONNECTION – heart connection, trust and complete relaxation has to be felt in my body. Especially as a woman I need to feel safe to ‘let go’. My body, just like yours is the best compass for exploration… Get connected to it, the subtle feelings and queues to enhance your pleasure and experience.
5) GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD – GET INTO YOUR BODY – this is where I like to use the 5 elements of touch.
- EARTH – Grounding, heavy, safe (can include deep holding and pressure)
- WATER – Flowing, relaxing and sensual (predominately full hands moving around the body)
- AIR – Gentle, soft, breezy, intimate (predominantly finger-tips moving over the body)
- FIRE – Vigorous, intense, passionate (can include nails, biting, slapping, pulling, grabbing)
- ETHER – Energetic touch.
Get familiar with the ones drops you into your body. For me… It’s earthy touch layered with air touch that unconditionally gets me into the most receptive state of feeling…. and Fire …. well that’s hands down my favourite and a guaranteed activator for heightened sexual turn on…
6) SOUND BREATH AND MOVEMENT – make sound (lots of it), breathe deeply (into your belly) and move your body to cultivated and circulate your sexual energy. Our capacity to experience orgasmic pleasure is directly related to how much permission we give ourselves to expand these areas of expression in ourselves.
7) PAUSE / SLOW DOWN– Listen ALL of the verbal and non verbal the body queues of each other – whoever is taking the lead be really attune to this…. Feel the person receiving in every moment, in every movement… Pause… Slow down…
8) ADD YOUR KINK – cuffs, crops, silk, paddles, feathers, wax, chains, ropes, clamps, collars, blindfolds, spreaders, more hands…… and PLAYYYYY with erotic leadership, seduction and sensation…. This is really just adding your flavour of kink… It’s a massive playground and it’s up to you and your partner/s to navigate what area you want to immerse in. I find that mixing up the sensation between pleasure and pain, light and firm touch, slow and fast rhythms heightens arousal and allows the space to check in and maintains the consciousness and connection…
9) HAVE FUN – for me – having a sense of lightness and humor is key – especially in positions that are rather compromising and new. I encourage you to use pleasure as your direction for flow… and do WHAT FEELS GOOD – fuck rules of ‘books say you should or shouldn’t do’. The book isn’t you.
10) EMOTIONAL SUPPORT – Sometimes, navigating these erotic edges can be intense and can potentially bring up ‘stuff’… It’s really important that everyone in the interaction knows themselves enough to confidently be there for each other to bare witness and/or hold space if this occurs. The key, find your own unique way through erotic narrative to check in with your partner.
WHY AM I SO PASSIONATE ABOUT ALL OF THIS?
In simple terms; the connection opens me and sensation grows me. And I love feeling into the full spectrum of that.
Zooming out, this is just another means to activate sexual energy.
……Which is creative energy.
………….Which is my lifes purpose.
……………….To collectively change the way we relate with ourselves, with others through sex, our sexuality the magic of written word.