THE ART OF RELATING...

Inspired by the unfolding of a beautiful dating experience... The depth and breadth of this exchange, quite intense to feel in such a short space of time.

The courting build up...
The erotic orbit of first date desire... 
The pause...
The time gifted to marinate in the activated sexual charge... 
The slow romantic opening...
The intensity of primal ravishment...
The 'stuff' that comes up... 
The intimacy...
The sex...

This flow is not necessarily 'unique' per say, but the flow with another lover who embodies and confidently paints with their whole pallet is kind of magic... 

I SEE IT LIKE THIS...

The moments of relating they are our canvas's... we as the relaters are the artists.. and the experience this the art...

WHY THIS EXCITES ME?

If art is limitless.... 
Then so is our capacity to relate.

Think about how much art in the world could be created through relating if we all accessed our full pallet; with freedom, permission and full expression?

THE POTENTIAL...

Every colour in our pallet (whether we use it or not) is equally rich in the archetypal qualities of humanness and eroticism... 

Texture is created by the unique tension of pauses, the ever changing waves of pleasure and the dance of vulnerability that comes with opening to love... to connection.. to the unknown...

And the contrast... the depth... is created by the variations of light and dark accessed in the experience; the polarity of ying and yang, the hard and soft, the fast and slow, the giving and receiving.... and the greater stretch of erotic lead and submission ;).

WHERE WE GET STUCK...

It's common (in old and even new relating) to get stuck painting with the same colours using the same strokes. 

Is there anything wrong with this? Well no... but general feedback I hear from talking about sex daily... is that people are bored, unsatisfied and feel like there is something missing with their current state of connections.

HOW TO GET UNSTUCK? 

P A I N T   L I K E  A  C H I L D.

The gift of this latest experience was expansion. We both equally showed up with a child-like belief around the possibility of creation; backing ourselves with fearlessness, freedom and the permission to fuse pallets, textures, depths and contrast....

THE KEY... LETTING GO...

Of the outcome, the art and the artist...

When kids create they create with perfect imperfection in mind... they release the need for things to be or look a certain way. Equal to that, they create with a sense of newness each time they pick up a crayon... 

Seriously... Imagine if you gave a child the same piece of paper to draw on their entire life? After a few paintings the colours would lose their vibrancy and all you would see is murky shades of brown...

Ick...

The key to relating is balance of letting go but still showing up completely to the creative process.

No collecting...
No hooks...
No hanging...
No trying to recreate an old piece...

Quite the paradox I know... but it's where I've experienced the most magic.

FEELING VULNERABLE?

I hear you... 

Creating shared art in any form requires stepping into a space of vulnerability. To let go requires even more. 

In these experiences I feel vulnerable as hell, but the irony in this process is that in letting go I have always closer to the person if / when we connect again.

Because it's a conscious choice to lean back in, completely show up and create.

DON'T FORGET YOUR SMOCK...

Art is messy. Seldom will you see an artist without paint in their hair, ink on their hands of blisters on their feet... 

The art of relating requires the appreciation of messiness that comes with the creative process... Even with the best boundary and consent conversations we're human and we can easily and accidentally 'colour outside of invisible lines' and trigger the hell out of the other. 

The important piece in the co-creation of this kind of relating is being able to check in, put the brush down, step away from the canvas and step into holding space for eachother as artists, humanness and vulnerability beyond the art. 

The subtext -
The artist in me, honours the artist in you. 

THE BIGGER PICTURE... 

Zooming in... the creative process is all about the feeling behind each micro moment... the choice of colours and the depth and intensity of each stroke... 

The feeling of how is traced the line of my calf...
The feeling of melting and leaning into his embrace...
The feeling like the world stops before a kiss...
The feeling of breath and mind blankness after one...

The combination of these moments... 
This is real art.

And you...
Just like me...
Are an artist.

Gift yourself a new canvas.
Show up with your full pallet.
And...
Create.

With love.
Zo x