WHEN MY SEX CENTRE TAKES CHARGE...

A guide to realigning your own inner threesome....

I feel particularly connected to my 3 centres; sex, heart and consciousness in 95% of my sexual relating until a ‘particular flavour of energy’ comes into my life.

Hetronormatively speaking (for me .. put your own connotations on it), this particular masculine energy is fuelled with fire, intense sexual charge and also a streak of unapologetic naughtiness and cheek that appeals to the ‘free, wild, reckless, fuck tantra and spirituality’ aspect of myself…

B R E A T H E  Z O…..

Quite seriously – this particular energy (alone in isolation) for me is worse than a drug…

WHAT HAPPENS IN MY BODY…

Usually what happens in this moment is my sex centre takes charge and it completely sends my heart and consciousness into a state of delusion… The coercion looks something like this….

  • Sex says to heart… “Yeh I know you’re feeling tender but remember his Insta had a pic of him holding a puppy – he’s totally in touch with love and his softer side!”
  • Sex says to consciousness…. “Babe… He knows what star sign he is and said you have a nice rock on your alter… he’s totally connected to his spirituality”

Sex centre then proceeds to lick her lips and activate the come fuck me eyes, with the subtext of ravage me, pull my hair and pin me up against the wall.

The dialogue – it’s always different… but let’s be honest – we’ve all been there at least once right?!

THE ISSUE…

Leading with our sex centres alone – boundaries can sometimes become blurred… For me I would end up engaging in stuff that was fine at the time, but in reality I didn’t have a full body yes to.

As a woman (and men appealing to the feminine in you) I would almost guarantee end up feeling a state of lack / post-coital depletion and fuzziness after these single ‘sex centered’ experiences.

I used to run the pattern that I was ‘fine with it’ to be the #coolchic – but I seriously had to get brutal and call bullshit on myself… Because I actually wasn’t OK…

THE SOLUTION…

Before penetration. Gift yourself the opportunity to realign your own inner threesome. 

  1. PAUSE…  Actually say it, take the accompanying deep breath and lock eyes as well…. What ever the moment is – say it in the most fitting way that feels best – it can be cheeky, sexy, sultry, soft …whatever… but behind that call in the ‘priestess / priest’ energy’ that creates the field an unspoken subtext of its important for you to meet me in this space.
    Then…
  2. PAUSE SOME MORE…. For me, a short pause isn’t enough with the intensity of that sexual energy running through my body… or the others…I need time to slow the freight train and let my body catch up to where I am actually at. Maintain eye contact, keep breathing together… and feel together.
  3. CHECK IN – WHAT DO I ACTUALLY FEEL…? This where I will invite my heart and consciousness into the space and connect to my truth. I ask myself…
    Is my heart open? 
    Does it feel safe enough to open? 
    Do I really know the person? 
    Am I ready to take on their consciousness through penetration?
    Am I ready to deal with the stuff and things they are carrying 3 days later when I am making tea alone in my kitchen?
    Sounds crazy – but it’s true!
  4. ASK FOR WHAT I NEED… A lot of the time all signs point to go, however to feel safer to open, to feel more relaxed or to feel more connected or to just feel them… I  may need a couple of things. So… I ask for them. If my lover cannot meet me in this space, that’s ok, I hold myself in the no and this is where I stop and gift myself what I am need. If it kills the fire, great –  it’s a blessing and natural filter… But in my experience it deepens the connection and fuels the furnace in a way that takes the vibration of the experience to a whole new level.

Have I got this completely sorted? No… I’m human too and pending on the energy of lover I am interacting with I still find the ‘asking for what I need bit quite challenging’… Especially when they are hot and whisper sweet nothings to me in an accent… #myweakness not to mention I still get triggered but the subtleties of fear of rejection…

However… What overrides my weakness and fear is the bigger commitment that I have to my truth. This it’s a muscle that I am committed to exercising and the more I do it, the more love I have for myself which ultimately opens me up to more love from others.

Your inner threesome and full body yes…

It starts with you.

Zo xx